Peter Robbed

GALILEE- Local fisherman and known Christ associate Peter was shocked to find his apartment had been burglarized over the weekend.

“I’d just returned from a weekend trip down the River Jordan with some pals. Some fishing, some wine, you know, good times” said Peter. “Anyway I get back and see my door off its hinges. And I’m like, ‘Jesus, what's this?!’”

“Jesus was with me when I found the place and he really tried to calm me down” Peter admits. “But it’s easy for him to say ‘turn the other cheek’. Things just seem to always go right for that guy, and some of us have to work for a living.”

Reported losses included a jar of figs, robes, assorted fishing nets and tackle, and a several pieces of silver that had been hidden in a hollowed-out piece of fake bread on a shelf. The thieves also carved crude remarks about Peter's mother into the walls with a hammer and chisel.

“Those villains will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven if I have anything to say about it” lamented the anguished Peter.

In a bid of sympathy for his longtime friend, fellow disciple Paul has offered to help Peter get back on his feet, having reportedly come into some money recently.