Mexico Still Boasts Millions Without Swine Flu

MEXICO CITY- Responding to reports of deep cutbacks in tourism, an industry central to Mexico's economy, this week Rodolfo Torres the Secretariat of Tourism announced a new advertising campaign. The television, print and Internet ads entice would-be visitors to experience the nation's beautiful beaches, extensive history and millions of inhabitants still currently free of swine flu.

The relative health of Mexico's populace is being touted as one of the key attractions of a visit to the nation. “The majority of the people you meet on your travels through our country will be welcoming, friendly and on the average free of debilitating fever and coughing fits” assures a soothing voice over from one of the television spots. Following a montage of fun-loving tourists enjoying beaches, pyramids and other scenic vistas, the ad ends in the new tag line “Mexico: You'll probably be fine”.

To placate the worries of over anxious travelers, newly arriving visitors will be presented a hygiene pamphlet outlining some common sense practices. “As a purely precautionary measure, visitors to some of the regions with higher than average reported cases of malady may want to soak body parts that may have come in contact with locals in a solution of bleach and hydrogen peroxide; it is also wise to ingest massive amounts of vitamin C, multivitamins, and Tamiflu. These simple steps will help assure a lowered risk of infection.”

Torres insists fears of contracting the illness are being overblown by the media. “Don't let fear of the unknown dissuade you from your travel plans. It remains much more likely you will be kidnapped.”