BEIJING-The first batch of losing Chinese athletes are due to be reassigned to various manufacturing posts beginning Friday.
According to Yang Xu of the Chinese Olympic Federation, most of the positions are low-level, usually within the textile or household goods industries scattered throughout Guangdong province. Traditionally an exception is made for those fortunate enough to at least muster a bronze in their events. These can often expect to enjoy at least a third-shift line supervisor’s position along one of the sweat-soaked assemblies.
Failed swimmer Jian Jou told the Xinhua News Agency her new job sewing zippers onto doll outfits is more than she deserves, “for so humiliating my family and my nation.” At her new wage of three dollars a day, it will take Ms. Jou a long time to repay her nation’s generosity for twelve years of intensive, if fruitless training.
To some the fourteen hour shifts may come as a welcome relief from the rigorous training schedules to which they’ve become accustomed. After being taken from their families at an average age of five, Olympic hopefuls are put through daily regimens that would make most people weep for mercy. “I hear you get Sundays off” beamed 7th place sprinter Yao Zhoung, bound for a pesticides factory. “I don’t know what I’ll do with myself all day.”
A large banner reading “Welcome Olympians to Your New Future” hung overhead at the Dongguan poultry processing factory, where a number of poorly performing athletes were soon expected.
Mr. Xu scoffed at the notion that such assignments were of a punitive nature. “There is nothing more glorious than participating in the advancement of our great State” he said. “Except of course, winning their contests as they had been instructed.”
By the end of next week, hundreds of former athletes are expected to be laboring in an array of menial, yet necessary tasks ranging from chemical mixer to quality control on new Michael Phelps apparel.
ahh the good old red and gold! Actually I was wondering what happens if you lose, I thought you might end up in one of those roving death vans. No wonder the Chinese girl who lost in her floor gymnastics event look like she was going to crap her pants, I would to!
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