Monday, May 3, 2010

300 Mile Island


What are the odds that such a disastrous slip up occur the same month as the biggest coal mine collapse in forty years? Two and a half million gallons so far. Could God be telling us, Fuck fossil fuels? He might swear, you don't know he wouldn't say that. Regardless of the vernacular, it seems someone is trying to tell us something.

In another week the oozing blob dancing its way across the Gulf of Mexico could become known as 300 Mile Island. The metaphor is apt. The situation is a lot like that little close call in the shadow of a Pennsylvania cooling tower back in the days of disco. Thanks to a single stuck valve on reactor number 2, you can count the number of new nuclear plants built in America since then on my old shop teacher's right “hand”. Bell-bottom pants went away, returned, went away again, but even now new plants are just daydreams in some engineer's head.

One of the main factors cited in the incident was human error and lack of training. That's right, we were just one Homer Simpson away from disaster.

Can we expect a similar death knell for the vocal push for sensitive drilling? The causes of the slow slide of public opinion toward acceptance of drilling anywhere a rig could be jammed were driven by a number of factors, but forefront was slick marketing on the part of the extractors and the politicians paid by them. Add to the stew a whining desire of many to maintain the cheap gas fantasy. What you end up with is the situation where even a “notoriously liberal” President ends up conceding on drilling to appease the masses.

But now it's settled. The oft recited talking point that 21st century drilling is cleaner than a nun's tongue and safer than a Volvo wagon is now being washed away by the barrel full. With no end in sight.

In the next few days, some technical point of failure will be identified. Some sheared pin, rusted flux capacitor, or some such mechanical detail. Already Halliburton's name has surfaced, adding more love-to-hate-them spice to the mix. The only thing more damaging to BP's bottom line would be a revelation that Goldman Sachs executives were somehow involved and you've got your headline of the year.

The pro-drilling cheerleaders have been silent the past couple weeks. Apparently even the likes of them know when to shut up. But it won't be long before they attempt to reshape the argument into the need to simply enforce the already onerous rules already on the books. Their (hypothetical) words. They will say that this fail safe should have been in place already under current regulation, but this was an unforeseen, one-of-a-kind circumstance. An oil rig gone rogue. Or that's what they'd have you think.

Then these people will go after some underfunded governmental agency that was to have been monitoring the mechanical doo-hickey in the first place, and blame the incompetence of government in general. The spill doesn't change anything, it was lack oversight by Washington that caused this! Accidents happen! Keep drilling! These too will be the same folks that argued for years self-enforcement by industry is the only way to go.

But now you may laugh in their faces. For they have been shown to truly not know what they're talking about. Or shown to just not care. In any event, they've had their say. Now it's time to see what the real cost of these cheap fuels really are. I had hoped the bill would be immense. Catastrophically expensive for those responsible. In the tens of billions. It pains me to see such destruction, but if that is the bitter pill needed to finally end this push, the price may be worth it. Besides, BP was paying.

But the truth is, there's a liability cap of a measly $75 million excluding cleanup costs. So sorry to the fishermen, boaters, tourism operators and all the people about to get rained on. 75 mil goes awful fast these days. The term paltry comes to mind. Which means that once again, Uncle Sam foots the bill for a private corporation's risky operations. But we're surely getting used to this by now.

Last year's burst well in the Timor Sea didn't make big news here. It helps when these things conveniently happen on the other side of the planet and everyone is busy barking about death panels. But Florida in springtime is a beautiful place, and journalists couldn't have asked for a better place to setup their cameras. People will soon be getting a full taste of what today's clean and safe oil industry is all about, live and in HD.

Coincidentally the newly proposed nuclear plants are supposed to be very clean and safe, too. Sleep well, America.