Victory at Sea

In a fitting Easter Sunday surprise, U.S. pride was reborn on the high seas off the African coast. In a world of shades and nuance, there is no wavering on this one- the good guys won.

We Yanks have had a tough run lately. Stinging difficulties in war. An economy last reported beaten and raped in a back alley by a roving band of Gucci-clad greedheads. Bad news is our norm, a growing hiss of white noise that no one can seem to find the volume knob for. So it was with a sense of warmth and joy that I was greeted by the news our boys in Navy blue scored one for the civilized world. Three pirates dead, one wishing he were, and their once captive Captain safely sipping coffee and posing for cameras on the deck of an American warship somewhere in the Indian Ocean. Such tales of bravery and righteous bloodshed are in serious want these days, I for one am going to soak this one in.

The Hollywood climax served as a perfect capstone on what proved to be a truly humiliating series of boners pulled by the hapless bandits. Strong-armed by an unarmed crew, sent scurrying into an oversized dinghy that promptly ran out of fuel, and left bobbing like the burglars from Home Alone. In a maritime blog I read about the details of the lifeboat they spent their final days in. One theory is that the captain himself may have sabotaged the vessel, rendering the fuel tank as useful as a second belly button. The facts will come out on this one as 60 Minutes gets their claws into our latest hero Captain. Sorry Captain Sully your turn is over, though we'll always love how you handled that jet in the Hudson.

While the dirty work came at the hands of Navy Seals, some credit must also be given to the President. This was a political win for the man. His first high drama albeit small-scale crisis goes off without a hitch, just as fervent wing nuts were already online dismissing the “age of Obama appeasement”. Let those who would denounce an ask questions first, shoot second approach to American diplomacy take note. The man is smart, patient and knows when the time finally comes to separate a few heads from their respective shoulders.

As far as the public record shows, he merely said to shoot if the Captain appeared in peril. But it was a moment that could very well have been Obama's Iranian-hostage rescue debacle. Fate decided he wasn't to share the same poor fortunes Jimmy Carter did in the Persian desert 30 years ago. In a brazen response, a pirate named Abdullahi Lami announced “every country will be treated the way it treats us,” warning of bad things to come for American ships in the future. It was so patronizing he may well have demanded a pre-ransom for the next ship they planned on taking. Although it will never happen, Mr. Obama would be excused for muttering a “Bring It On”.

Such hubris can only come from those not used to failed missions. The pirates' attitude that “this is war” in a perverse way almost seems to suggest safer waters for those flying the Stars and Stripes. These are not warriors, or even suicide bombers. These are businessmen. And this little business operation gone sour throws into question their entire modus operandi: that being to grab slow-moving, defenseless hulks then patiently await an almost guaranteed payday. If another American ship is taken, we will be forced to take them at their word, that they will kill the unlucky souls on board. But that of course destroys their very profitable business model. No hostages equals no payday, no fun times counting your booty on the forlorn shoals of Somalia wishing there were something more to spend it on other than the same HIV-laden harbor tarts and bails of khat. Just what Somali pirates spend all those millions on is a question that gives pause to the greatest of economic minds. The micro-climate of inflation that brews up every time a haul comes in must be hell on the local economy.

Offing a handful of punks that may well have been the pirate version of Larry, Moe, and Curly isn't a legendary accomplishment, but it was a needed one for our bruised psyche. In the new world order, big mouthed, small-time dictators mock us with impunity, well aware of the limitations modern day political correctness places on a super-power. It has become slowly, painfully clear that America or even the West cannot do everything, good intentions aside. There are some unfortunate situations where sitting back and fuming to ourselves that something ought to (but won't) be done is the only viable option. Lord knows there have been times we strayed from the narrow perch of moral high ground when we refused to do so. This is certainly not one of those times.

So as they paint three skull-and-crossbones on our bow, give three cheers for those who made the operation a success. Lets hope the next one goes even half as well.